Everyone has superstitions. These are mine:

Joes and Chrises
People named Joe, Jo, Joanne, Joana, Joey, etc. have been very good in my life. Even the ones I’ve had bad experiences with turned out terrific — some ten or fifteen years down the road. And anyone named Chris, Kris, Christine, Kristina, Christie, etc. have been awful for me. My brief flirtation with Christianity even turned out to be shit. That’s an enormous sample size to be freaked out by coincidences.

Reoccurring Roles
Different people come and go in my life, but the roles and personalities remain uncannily similar. They are —

– Insecure, anti-social idiot that thinks of me as a friend. Always a twerpy, lanky guy with ridiculous emo hair. Thinks he knows martial arts. A bit metrosexual.

– The asshole bully who got popular picking on me. Usually turns working and family environments into prison culture. Things end tragically for people in this role

– The quirky female sidekick. Everyone thinks we’re dating, but we’re not. We argue about things, hang out and debate until we drift apart.

– The big brother/big sister type. Mostly a cameo. Life dials 911 and bails me out. Whoever carries the mantle is always well put together.

– The impossible, unattainable crush.

Close a door and another appears. Never two people in the same role at the same time.

The Number 7
This superstition’s been iffy lately. It used to be reliable, but now it’s just another number. Back in the day, I could count on 7 to defy odds, ruin statistics and even win Vegas money. I think I’ll retire it and find another number — or perhaps lucky numbers need to recharge. Like iPhones. I’ll experiment.

The Seasonal Change Cycle
My years don’t happen in January; they start during September-October. Change happens and usually a new event comes and special people enter my life. Magic happens around the fall. When it doesn’t, it signifies the next 12 months will follow suit. Sometimes life gets boring that way. The seasonal change cycle is a pattern. Speaking of which — it’s almost that time of year.