The irony about being clean is that people are judgmental about it. I don’t prefer drugs; pharmaceuticals turn me off. It makes me a bit unrelatable and people come to false conclusions — I can seem a bit standoff-ish. I don’t care if people love cocaine or xanax; I just don’t find losing control a desirable thing. My whole love for intellectualism gets thrown out the window by proposals to get fucked up. Getting smashed, to me, is code for temporarily living a lie. Life supposedly sucks and escapism is the only way around. But I don’t think life’s terrible, I just think it’s valued through our choice of addictions. My addictions are food and Starcraft. To me, beer tastes like piss, but chicken garden salads are paradise. Yes, I like healthy food too. Fuck me. I’m not a health nut; I just naturally enjoy fish and tomatoes and pissing without my dick burning. Starcraft’s the modern version of chess; it tickles my brain. I’m perfectly happy with a clean life.
But being clean gets lonely. I’d make more friends if I was a marijuana enthusiast. I’ve somewhat adapted to socially enjoying alcohol and just a tinge of it can make me witty and adorable (drunk Louis on the other hand…). I’m far from a boy scout. I have a dangerous level of crazy; the smart, Kevin Spacey-kind. Drugs and booze, however, doesn’t fit with that personality. Until someone can convince me the beauty from slurred speeches and lost brain cells, I’m not gonna snort booger sugar or shove a bong tube up my mouth. I’m not in the business of telling what people should like, I’m just disappointed that so many prefer the lowest common denominator.
I can get high off my own imagination.
People have blamed it on my upbringing and culture. My culture likes cigarettes and mah-jong; it’s not exactly clean. People have said I have a mental condition. I think seeing a psychiatrist would develop a xanax craving. I’m just odd. I don’t apologize for it. I think life is great drug-free. Maybe the biggest reason I’ve never desired them is because I don’t choose things out of peer pressure. “Everyone likes it” was never a good sell and “People will laugh at you if you don’t” never frightened me.
Besides…I enjoy porn too much. (::cough:: Lucy Thai)
