All my life I started last. Last to be picked for kickball. Last chair in band. Last to get a raise. Understanding me is to understand what it feels like to always start last, to be in a world where no one believed in you. It’s a disconcerting feeling, this default decision from others that you aren’t their vision of a winner. Most people will…

The great fictional character Omar Little once stressed that everyone needs a code. It’s a simple, yet deeply introspective question. My morality has always leaned more pragmatic than ideal. I don’t understand ideal morality; it’s an oxymoron disguised as sound logic. A code shouldn’t be fixated on morals. It should exist on concrete, defined terms supported by shades of gray. Here’s an example: You have…

People often ask me why I moved to New York, i.e. which cliche did I came for? Mine was the mirror. I wanted a raw reflection of who I am and an unapologetic echo of what I’m doing wrong. This city attracts lost souls; you’ll find what you’re looking for, only to realize it’s not what you’re looking for. You get that out of your…

I have a habit of burning bridges. I don’t believe people can change, but some can be more careful about hiding their nature the second time around. My test is to be kind to everyone and watch how they respond once cordialness is unnecessary. The ones who are worth keeping are the ones who show respect; I don’t believe in fighting for friendship. I can…

I feared death until someone close to me passed away. My grandma was 86, capable of living a few extra years, but she was in such agony that the doctor recommended we put her out right away. I watched in solemn reticence as she slowly had her life drained. This took a few days and she was wide awake for the duration of it. My…